Away With Pride

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble" James 4:6

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10

I've come to discover that there are different kinds of pride. Some are kinds of pride that we should delight in. Some are kinds of pride that we should do away with. The good pride is that of a parent. When I see my child accomplish something new or tackle a difficult task, or reach a major goal in their life, I become very proud. I am proud of their efforts, of the work they've put in to accomplishing such a goal. That is a great pride to have, pride in one's children shows the children that their activities and accomplishments are worth something. And as long as we keep that pride in check and not use it as a way to belittle other parents or other children, it's okay to be proud in that manner.

The bad pride is the one that keeps God from getting closer. The pride that we have that says "I don't need any help" or "I can manage on my own." Because, the fact is, we will always need help, and we simply cannot manage on our own. We've learned this several times over, and I believe that we needed our pride to be broken. We needed to hit bottom so that we could learn to accept help and assistance and be grateful for that very thing. And I happen to have an excellent example of this.

Two years ago, we were very different people. We were struggling with Andy's time off, money was scarce, and the pantry supplies severely dwindled. We had several people ask us often if we needed anything- did we need some groceries? Did we need a few bucks for gas? And we always turned people down. Surely we could come up with what we needed on our own, and usually we managed somehow. But last year, we found something different going on. People stopped asking us if we needed help. Instead, they took it upon themselves to just help. Every once in a while a roast or fillet of fish would end up in our freezer because someone "bought too many on sale". We had one friend in particular who would just show up at our door randomly with a bag of groceries or a gallon or two of milk. I recall one day looking at our gallon of milk, and looking at the calendar and praying that the milk would hold out for two more breakfasts for the kids. Wouldn't you know it, a few hours later, the doorbell rang and there was not one, but two gallons of milk.

As time went on, we began to let down our pride. When people asked us if we wanted something or needed something, we began saying yes. We began letting people help us out, and we were blessed more times than I can count because of it. One day I just about cried as I went through Abigail's closet and realized that she had very little as far as sweaters and warm clothes for winter. Just a day or two later, a friend e-mailed, asking if we needed sweaters, because they had too many. God was so looking out for us, and He was using those around us to meet our needs.

Now let me tell you something about what this has taught us. People want to give. They want to help, and sometimes they are prompted by God to do just that. I know that Andy and I take great joy in helping out someone who needs us, and when we allow other people to do the same to us, we know that they experience that same joy. When we walk into a strange church for the first time, and we are greeted with smiles and genuine excitement that we are there that morning, it makes me want to thank that church by giving in the offering. I love walking into a church and seeing the love of God in someones eyes, that genuine love that says that they are so happy to see us, even if we never come back to that church again. It makes me want to bless that church and what they are doing with a little something in the offering basket. And I know that when I do give in that way, when I want to bless the church, that God uses that blessing to bless the church. So think about what it feels like to walk into a church, feel welcomed, and greeted, and then be told that when offering time comes around, I shouldn't give because I'm visiting that day. Right at that moment, I feel robbed. I feel like I have been told that this church does not want what I can give, and consequently, does not want my blessing, or to be blessed by God. It tells me that there is pride where there shouldn't be, and chances are good that we will not be returning to that church.

It's the exact same way with people and friends. If one of your closest friends offers their help time and time again, and you constantly turn them down, eventually, they are going to stop asking. They are going to feel like they aren't wanted, or that their help isn't good enough for you. They are going to feel robbed- and they should be, because your pride has robbed them of their opportunity to bless someone with what God has given them. It's been a long, hard journey for us to learn this. It is so, so hard to admit when you need help, and it's hard to let someone else provide for your needs that you want to provide yourself. Yet, it's a necessary thing to learn, because the giving and the recieving are important acts of love. It's just like Christmas time. My family exchanges gifts, but we don't exchange gifts just to get the stuff. We exchange names and put thought and time into the gifts we give. And when we give the gifts, we are rewarded with the joy someone has because they have recieved something wonderful- and that you can't put a price tag on.

Pride is a tough thing to let go of, but the results of doing so are really, truly worth it.


"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2