Guarding The Tongue

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

This is one of those things that I think every single person could benefit from. Guarding against unwholesome talk is way harder than one would think- because think about how many times we may say something that is not a benefit to others or the situation. I noticed this yesterday even as the kids watched cartoons, and I heard one character call another stupid. Even something as simple as saying stupid can hurt someone dearly. In fact, stupid is a naughty word in our house for the kids, and they are quick to call Mommy on it- even if I'm talking about something completely random. We also don't say shut up to anyone, and of course, the plethora of cuss words- many of which I can be an ignorant mom and hope that my kids haven't heard some of them yet.

But unwholesome talk goes much farther and much deeper than a few cuss words or calling someone an idiot. Of course, there is gossip, which never is wholesome by nature, but is so hard to fight against because we have a seriously curious way about us that just naturally makes us want to know more! It's just wrong to share news or intimate details about other people. A good way to know whether or not something is gossip is to think about whether or not you would say that about that person if they were right there with you. Sometimes I think we toe the line when it comes to gossiping by covering it up with a "we should pray for..." You can be far more general in your conversation without giving away details that would be embarrassing to the other person.

I'm also thinking about unwholesome talk and simply sharing ideas. When I think back to those school days and brainstorming sessions... I think we were on to something. Remember those? You'd get in a group and come up with ideas to solve a problem- the catch was that everyone could share their ideas, and there was no such thing as a bad idea. Then together, you'd come up with the best idea and present that as a solution. It was a great team-building exercise, and also a problem-solving exercise. I think we can easily apply that here as well. When you're discussing a problem with someone- even your spouse (maybe especially your spouse) it's important to not belittle their ideas or thoughts. There really is no such thing as a bad idea, but there my be better ones out there. We can work harder on responding in these cases with kind words instead of harsh ones.

And I think that unwholesome talk can also apply to those words you mumble under your breath- and I know we all do that. We grumble about that driver who cuts us off, or say something unbecoming to that guy who lets his dog poo in your yard. It may not be loud enough for that person to hear, but the mere fact that you've said it is enough. I guess when I think of that, when I think of all the times I may say something to myself about another driver or person in that manner, that there is work to be done. Because if those words, and those unkind thoughts are coming out of my lips, they're obviously coming from somewhere. And if that's what I've got on the inside... well, I don't want that.

So let's be a little more on guard. Let's speak as though our children are listening at all times to call us out on our naughty words. Let's speak uplifting and positive thoughts to each other- and not the unkind ones that only cause hurt. And let's be mindful of what we let leave our lips- it's a reflection of what's on the inside, and even if only we can hear it, we need to work on eliminating those words altogether. We'll be much better because of it, and it will be yet another way to show God's love to others by speaking only words of love and care.