" Ask of Me, and I will give You
The nations for Your inheritance,
And the ends of the earth for Your possession." Psalm 2:8
I'm still thinking about this past weekend. This one is going to sit with me a very long time, because it was just so full, and there is still so much to digest. I've never really been interested in listening to CD's of old messages, but this time I may make an exception, because I feel like there was so much good preaching, and I want to make sure that I get all of it!
Anyway, Thursday evening at the first service, there was a lovely time of ministry, where one of the speakers spent time calling out individual people and giving them words, encouragement, or healing. It was really cool and wonderful to see. As I left that night, I wondered what it would actually be like to get a word in that regard, and then I thought to myself that I don't really have anything to get a good word about. Life is grand, I know what our short term future looks like, and I didn't have any burning questions or desires that I wanted God to answer for me. But then, in the back of my mind, I thought about how for almost two years now I've had a burning desire in me to pray for Haiti, and then I had a very quick, fleeting thought about how I wondered if I was supposed to do more than just pray for this troubled little Caribbean country. Truly, it was a fleeting thought, and while I did think a very, very quick little prayer about it at that moment, I quickly dismissed it and went about whatever it was I was doing.
I have most definitely posted here before about my desire to pray for the country of Haiti. It makes a regular appearance on my Warfare Wednesday posts, because I just believe that God has such great plans for this country that seems to only know disaster and hardship. God placed this desire in my heart to pray for Haiti a few weeks before the devastating earthquake early last year, and I've been praying ever since. Every once in a while, I've had very small thoughts about what it would be like to actually go there and do something- anything. And while there was always a part of me that would get excited about that prospect- of going to a foreign country to serve the Lord, the reality part of me would kick in. I'm hardly a world traveler. While I think every once in a while about the idea of traveling to some exotic location- the country of India comes to mind- the reality is most likely that I like being here in the U.S.A. Plus, we're not exactly rolling in the finances, trying to plan anything like that is a little crazy when we're struggling simply to meet all the bills each month.
And yet, God knows my heart. And Sunday morning I was called out and asked about my love for Haiti. Because I do love Haiti, and there is so much injustice there, it breaks my heart. There are so many orphanages and there is so much hurt and despair, but the people are so beautiful. And in the next few moments Sunday morning, I was prayed for, and spoken over, and encouraged that I will walk on the ground of Haiti, and that I will go there and do practical helps for this beautiful country. It was an amazing and overwhelming moment for me. I'm still overwhelmed to think of it. Me? Physically go to Haiti and help? You know, no one has ever asked me if I actually wanted to go there, but the minute the speaker asked me if I wanted to go, tears filled my eyes, and all I could do was nod my head, because I knew that was what my heart wanted more than anything. God has asked me if I would go, and I have said yes. Until that moment in time, I may not have really known that was what I wanted, but my heart knew- and God knew.
So what does that mean for me? I have no idea! Other than it means that at some point, I am going to get to go to Haiti to serve. There will be a whole lot of prayer going into this, as Andy and I will both need to talk to God about it and explore if this is supposed to be something I do on my own or if we do it as a couple or as a family. At this time, I don't think it's supposed to be any kind of long term missionary thing, but more along the lines of short term missions trips- like two weeks at a time. This could be something years down the road, it could be next year, but I do know this one thing. That when it is time, I will know. I have complete confidence that God didn't just tell me this and then He will forget all about it. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. God will put the right ministry in front of me to take me there, and He will provide the means, the tools, and everything needed to go and minister. And He's already started! The French language the kids and I have been learning? French is spoken in Haiti, although many of the poor don't speak French, but rather, a Haitian Creole that has roots in French. I have already endeavored in my heart that I am going to work heartily on my French, and then learn what I can about the Creole.
"And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." Mark 16:15
I may not be going to preach- but it looks like I may get to go into the world after all and serve the poorest of the poor. I'm humbled and overwhelmed, and I can't wait to see what this looks like.