Thursday, October 01, 2009

I Am A Phreak

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:11-12

I've had this little mantra running through my head a lot as of late. And I don't mean it in a bad way, if that makes any sense. You'll notice my spelling of freak is actually with a ph, which I guess is supposed to mean that I'm a freak in a good way. And that's what I mean when I say to myself "I'm a freak". Maybe instead though I should change that instead to say that I'm a "Jesus Freak" because that would be a little more appropriate.

Because I am! I spend my entire day with my thoughts on Him. Each and every day. As I go from task to task, my mind is constantly open, just in case there's a little something God wants to drop in there. My favorite days of the week are the ones where we go to church- I literally leap out of bed Sundays and Wednesdays, excited, because there is church on that day! Our plate has gotten really full as far as how busy we are, but that also makes me more excited, because when a day is busy, it goes by faster, which bring us closer to another church day- and more corporate worship- which I think I am a little bit addicted to.

So often people talk about their high school days like they were the best days of their lives... oh they were so not mine. Oh, I made the most of my time while I was there, and for the first three years you could probably say that I enjoyed high school, but the reality was, I was the schools token Jesus Freak. It made me a really lonely person once all of my classmates discovered the beauty of alcohol, drugs, and all that goes with them. And so once I went off to college, I determined that I wasn't going to be that Jesus Freak anymore, because I really didn't want to be lonely anymore. I wanted friends, which I certainly got, but now, so many years later, if there is one regret, its that those friends from way back then never got to see the Jesus that was inside of me. They never got to see the real me- because as it turns out. That Jesus Freak was really who I am and who I was meant to be.

Only, wonder of wonders, I'm not alone in this! I have a husband and a family along for the ride, and a whole body of believers who think the same way... I could write a novel about the joy of finding my own kind. Lol. The difference this time, is that maybe I am a freak, and maybe some people look at us zipping of to church yet again, and shake their heads, thinking that we're crazy. But we are crazy! Crazy in love with the God above all Gods! I can't share that love if I don't continue my freaky ways. Where once upon a time, if someone said something not very nice about me, it would bother me- I would dwell on it, and in fact, my remarkable memory can replay conversations I had 20 years ago! Yet now, if anyone made a comment, I would take it as a compliment, because my goal is to let that Jesus shine. I want what I've got to ooze out of me... I want it to be obvious- I want that love to ooze out of me, slide on down the bench and wrap up that lonely person in the real love that they've been searching for.

And at the same time, I find myself incredibly blessed that I live in a country where the only things I'm going to get thrown my way are a few insults and kind words. If I don't receive them, they don't exist and are wasted breath. I am so blessed and so grateful that I don't live in a country where I could be murdered for believing in my Lord Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that I don't need to be tested in that way. I pray that our country stays that way- that our country will always know the freedoms on which it was created and founded.

And so this morning, I wear my phreak badge proudly. And I pray this morning that as I go about my day, my freakishness may be contagious to those I come in contact with throughout the day- and may they be blessed because of it.

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