"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 52:12
"Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say." Proverbs 5:7
"The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." John 10:3
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matthew 26:41
I am very slowly digesting all the information I took in over the weekend. It was truly an experience, listening to these wonderful men and women of God, and hearing what they had to say. It was so incredible to me that when one of these people would speak and share something, one of the other people would jump up, nodding with excitement, and then sharing how God told them the exact same thing, or the completely different messages that they'd all prepared separately completely melded together into one complete message. I am going to be thinking on a lot of things for weeks and months to come. And there's going to be a lot of prayer.
One of the things that many of these people just kept sharing is that we need to share our wants and needs with God. He knows what we need and want, of course, but what God is waiting for is for our prayers- he's waiting for us to ask for what we want. He's waiting for us to turn to Him and ask for the blessings that he's just waiting to shower upon us. All he wants is to hear our prayers asking for it first. One of the things that I was asking for, going into this weekend, was some kind of revelation. We are certain that we are at the church where God wants us, but neither Andy or I really knew what it was we were to do there. Part of me wondered if God was going to show us something completely different that he wants us to do, something new that will help shape the people we are becoming.
It's really different deciding to be a part of a new body of believers. It's one thing when it's obvious your particular skills are needed or there's no one doing what you do. It's completely different to see people already doing what you know to do. In our case, Andy has a passion for sound ministry, and I've been enjoying playing percussion with the worship team. At our new church, there are very qualified people taking care of those needs. But sure enough, God has plans for us. The first night Andy was there, he spent a fair bit of time talking with the sound person, and for lack of a better word, they bonded. They shared a connection and no doubt, there will be plenty of opportunity for Andy to contribute in the ministry which he really enjoys.
My answer did not come so quickly, and it really took me by surprise. I have always wondered what it would be like to have someone come up to me and say that they had a message for me from God. I don't wonder anymore. We were worshipping on Sunday morning, and I was right in the front row at church, praising God and worshipping when a woman put her arm around me. She introduced herself, asked my name, and then said "Honey, I sense that God does not want you here in the seats. He wants you to be with the worship team." Now anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a hugely emotional person, but my eyes instantly started filling with tears. God wanted to tell me this! Me! I consider myself a plain jane kind of person, and the fact that he had this woman take time out of her praise and worship to share with me was amazing. Then she took me by the arm and walked me up to stand with her at the front and turned to me and said "now you are a part of the worship." And later on, after I'd recovered a bit and praised God and thanked him over and over for giving me that word and that direction, I thanked this woman, and she gave me the biggest hug and said "this is where you belong."
That really was something. I'm still amazed by the whole experience. God spoke to me this weekend, and I can't say that I expected that. I expected a feeling in my stomach, or maybe something that one of the ministers shared to trigger a reaction or something, but this was completely unexpected. And exciting. I have no idea where this is going to take me, really, but here I am, a willing spirit and servant. My words to God exactly were that I would do whatever he asked of me. And I pray that the willing spirit will translate to the courage and the boldness to do what I am asked to do!