A Surrender

"O people of Judah and Jerusalem,surrender your pride and power.Change your hearts before the Lord, or my anger will burn like an unquenchable fire because of all your sins." Jeremiah 4:4

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

Sometimes God works in mysterious ways. I think that more and more, Andy and I are realizing that this past winter was the way it was for a reason. It was designed to prepare us for something. And I will tell you, part of me was thinking that maybe God was teaching us how to live on so little because that was one of the plans he had for us. Maybe to go be missionaries somewhere and live with very little. And by the end of Andy's lay-off I was in agreement with what I thought God's plan was. I surrendered. "Okay God, if you want us to go somewhere, that's okay by me. Tell us where to go, and we'll go."

Then during the end of his lay-off time, a different job opportunity came up for Andy. We had been insistent to everyone that Andy had a job, and it was God's timing when he would go back. But then this opportunity came up from an unexpected source and we began thinking that maybe THIS was going to be God's plan for us. So once again, we surrendered. "Okay God. If you want Andy to change jobs, you will make it happen and show him what to do. We're okay with that and will wait for your prompting."

Again during the lay-off time I had lots of time to look at finances. I had mentally mapped out a plan to get us to the point of buying a house. We're very close, but I had the time to sit and really figure out how things were going to work so we could buy my house. Then during the time with no income, my heart began changing about where we live. When we first moved in we wanted to buy our home, but over the two years we've lived here we managed to pick out all the little problems with the house. But of course, one of the things that has changed for me over the last few months is that I am perfectly content with where we live. I wouldn't mind in the least if this is the house God wants us to be in. Here I go again "Okay God, I love this house, thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to live here. If it's your will, when the opportunity comes to purchase, the timing will be right for you."

And then. Just last week I posted how I was really having a dilemma over whether or not God wanted us to have more children. I really spent a lot of time thinking about this. So much that I didn't sleep much for a few days, it really was plaguing me. I really don't want to be pregnant again ever, but what if God had other plans for us, and we weren't allowing those plans to matriculate? It really, really bothered me. And after I thought about it a lot, and prayed on it as well. I came to the realization that I wanted God's Will for my life. If he wanted us to have more children, I was going to be open to the idea. "Okay God. You have blessed us with the two most beautiful children in the world, and I thank you for them so much more than words can describe. It would be a sin to me to turn down more blessings from you. Your Will will be done here. If you want more children in my life, I will follow you."

And the result here is that we were at a point where we needed to surrender just about everything in order to truly see what God has for us. As long as we are making our own plans and relying on ourselves, we are not truly trusting in God and willing to follow his path for us. After all this surrendering, God's will for us is plain as day to me. He DOES have a plan for us, and it's nothing that I expected. And I know for a fact that it's God's plan for us because it's something so obscure... I am not at a point where I feel comfortable sharing yet, but I do want to say that it's a thought that occurred to me about a year ago. It was a really bizarre thought, but it stayed with me, and I managed to look a few things up about it, but set the thought aside. This was not something that would occur to my husband in the least. Yet the other night the same exact thought came out of his mouth. The same exact thought. Without any mention by me, and without any mention by anyone else. It was a thought from God.

By surrendering to His Will completely, we have inadvertently discovered His Will. And every time I think about it I get shivers, and I get really, really excited. So much so that I want to get moving immediately on it. But we are going to trust in God's timing on this one. And oddly enough, some of my prior surrendering will play into it as well. He works in such mysterious ways! I will be excited to share how His Plan all unfolds for us when the timing is right to share. But for the first time in a very long time, I see a reason for being where we are. We are in this house for a reason, and everything that God has for us will happen at the right time in the right order.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33