"She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27
This scripture verse is in my head this morning. I figure if it's in my head (unusual in itself) that it must be thought upon today. I am still trying to figure out the direction I want this blog to go. When I read through the last few weeks or so, I am not sure that was the direction I meant to head. I don't necessarily want to be reading scripture and disecting it here on the blog. I want to read scripture, pray, spend time on that, and then share something and how it is affecting my life today. Today I read a passage in 1 Samuel, and while I love reading anything in the Bible, it wasn't particularily encouraging- more convicting. And one thing I want it for this blog to be encouraging, and not convicting. A place of refuge. A place to share and encourage others who may stumble onto this blog. I think that's why I've enjoyed the names of God so much- so much encouragement in a name! So today begins the new Heart and Soul. More heart, more soul, and less scripture analysis.
Back to the verse above. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. This is a verse about me, and it directly applies to me. And while it is convicting, it is also encouraging to me today. Some days I really have a hard time finding motivation to do anything constructive. Some days, I really think I am a bad housewife. I stay at home with Zander all day and not a whole lot gets accomplished. Occasionally I'll cook and do dishes, but mostly, my day is spent playing with Zander, or here on the computer. I have taken on a lot, maintaining three blogs, plus a new writing adventure for another website. And there are days where I just spend too much time cruising the internet or spending time catching up on my blog reading. Not bad things in itself- but there is really no reason for me to be checking in on a blog 8 times in one day. Once a day should be plenty for me. At times, the internet to me is like other people's Soap Operas. (And yes, there was a brief period of time where Days of Our Lives called my name every day at noon- but that quickly passed.)
And while I am devoted to my blogging, and I really think my ability to do so is a gift from God- and one of my Talents, it does not give me excuse to be idle and sit around all day doing nothing. Which is what I am guilty of many times over. Take today for example. I am tired. Zander had me up very early this morning, and I never really got back to sleep. And while the coffee is certainly kicking in in my physical body, my brain is in slow motion, and I am just tired today. I would like nothing more than to give Zander something quiet to do and spend the morning frittering away online. Today though, that will not be me. Today, I am seeking assistance from above. Today I am praying that God will give me the strength and the energy to oversee my household properly today. That I can finish up the laundry and clean the bathroom and bake some loaves of bread. And that maybe he will bring to mind something that I haven't done but need to. And of course, there will be time spent on the floor with Zander, and with Abigail after school.
Here's the thing. I want to have a cheerful heart when I do these things. I want to be glad that I am snug in my home while the winter wind whips about outside. I want to be grateful that my husband has a job that enables me to be at home with my son, and I want to be able to keep the housework caught up, so that when my husband does come home from work, he doesn't feel its necessary to do the laundry for me or clean up something. But mostly, I want to please God. I think that keeping the home maintained and keeping busy is pleasing to God. So why is it that most days I don't do that? Honestly? Because I haven't asked for help here. I make my own plans and my own agenda, and I don't think about what God would have me do every day. Today the bread of idleness will be kept at bay with help from God. God will help me stay busy and feel better about myself and my daily activities. And overall, I think the end result will be pleasing to my entire family and myself. And now, some yeast and flour is calling my name.