Friday, December 01, 2006

Something Different

"She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

This scripture verse is in my head this morning. I figure if it's in my head (unusual in itself) that it must be thought upon today. I am still trying to figure out the direction I want this blog to go. When I read through the last few weeks or so, I am not sure that was the direction I meant to head. I don't necessarily want to be reading scripture and disecting it here on the blog. I want to read scripture, pray, spend time on that, and then share something and how it is affecting my life today. Today I read a passage in 1 Samuel, and while I love reading anything in the Bible, it wasn't particularily encouraging- more convicting. And one thing I want it for this blog to be encouraging, and not convicting. A place of refuge. A place to share and encourage others who may stumble onto this blog. I think that's why I've enjoyed the names of God so much- so much encouragement in a name! So today begins the new Heart and Soul. More heart, more soul, and less scripture analysis.

Back to the verse above. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. This is a verse about me, and it directly applies to me. And while it is convicting, it is also encouraging to me today. Some days I really have a hard time finding motivation to do anything constructive. Some days, I really think I am a bad housewife. I stay at home with Zander all day and not a whole lot gets accomplished. Occasionally I'll cook and do dishes, but mostly, my day is spent playing with Zander, or here on the computer. I have taken on a lot, maintaining three blogs, plus a new writing adventure for another website. And there are days where I just spend too much time cruising the internet or spending time catching up on my blog reading. Not bad things in itself- but there is really no reason for me to be checking in on a blog 8 times in one day. Once a day should be plenty for me. At times, the internet to me is like other people's Soap Operas. (And yes, there was a brief period of time where Days of Our Lives called my name every day at noon- but that quickly passed.)

And while I am devoted to my blogging, and I really think my ability to do so is a gift from God- and one of my Talents, it does not give me excuse to be idle and sit around all day doing nothing. Which is what I am guilty of many times over. Take today for example. I am tired. Zander had me up very early this morning, and I never really got back to sleep. And while the coffee is certainly kicking in in my physical body, my brain is in slow motion, and I am just tired today. I would like nothing more than to give Zander something quiet to do and spend the morning frittering away online. Today though, that will not be me. Today, I am seeking assistance from above. Today I am praying that God will give me the strength and the energy to oversee my household properly today. That I can finish up the laundry and clean the bathroom and bake some loaves of bread. And that maybe he will bring to mind something that I haven't done but need to. And of course, there will be time spent on the floor with Zander, and with Abigail after school.

Here's the thing. I want to have a cheerful heart when I do these things. I want to be glad that I am snug in my home while the winter wind whips about outside. I want to be grateful that my husband has a job that enables me to be at home with my son, and I want to be able to keep the housework caught up, so that when my husband does come home from work, he doesn't feel its necessary to do the laundry for me or clean up something. But mostly, I want to please God. I think that keeping the home maintained and keeping busy is pleasing to God. So why is it that most days I don't do that? Honestly? Because I haven't asked for help here. I make my own plans and my own agenda, and I don't think about what God would have me do every day. Today the bread of idleness will be kept at bay with help from God. God will help me stay busy and feel better about myself and my daily activities. And overall, I think the end result will be pleasing to my entire family and myself. And now, some yeast and flour is calling my name.


Claire said...

Erika, just wanted to encourage you not to ABANDON examination of the scripture. That is where we get a lot of the basis of our encouragement! BTW, the names have not ended, I've just not been able to give writing a blog about it the time it deserves. I'll probably post tonight and that should finish up LORD. Then more fun stuff to come!

Erika said...

Thank you Claire. I am certainly not intending on abandoning the scrptiure, but I really dont' want to get into a rut of this is what I read today, this is how I interpret it, and that's that. I want it to have personal application too. I hope you know I wasn't picking on you for not posting as of late. I cannot even begin to imagine the time involved in your schooling adn studying. Take your time and enjoy the process. :-)

Claire said...

OH, NOOO!!! I didn't think you were picking on me...just wanted to explain. I kind of feel bad about it. I also agree with you including personal application, sometimes that's hard to see. This is what one of my former ministers (A GREAT teacher) said, "All truth has application. If you learn the truth, you'll get the application. If you start with the application, the truth can be elusive." So, give a little of both! :-)
Thanks for the encouragement about school. It's really getting involved right now and frustrating with one department. Unfortunately, that's the class I probably need to study for the most! Oh, well.