Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Waves

"Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
         All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
 8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
         And in the night His song
shall be with me—
         A prayer to the God of my life."  Psalm 42:7-8


I had a dream last night that a great wave billowed up in front of me.  It was absolutely massive- as tall as the tallest building.  And yet, when I saw it, I was not afraid in the least.  I stood fast and mentally prepared myself for this wave to come.  And as it came and swept me up, I was filled with an amazing peace and calmness as I rode along with the wave.  I was hidden within the wave, calm and relaxed.  When the wave deposited me elsewhere, I was with the one I love most, and not one was lost to the terrible wave.  Even better, as the wave dissipated, I discovered that I had a new nephew, and was filled with great joy at this new little life.

I'm not sure how I feel about this dream, to be honest.  I take great comfort from the idea that there was this terrible wave, this horrible event happening, and it didn't even faze me.  It was almost as if I'd hopped on an escalator, and I was just waiting for it to deliver me to my destination.  I didn't experience any fear or terror for even a millisecond, those things simply weren't there.   And the idea that at the end of this experience I would find great joy is wonderful.  But I don't like the idea of the wave itself.  That there could be some trial or tribulation headed my way... If we haven't currently been going through such a trial, I cannot imagine what could still be coming!  But at the same time, maybe the dream was speaking of the current season of trials.

It's been really, really difficult to stay above the murky depths this time.  There's been so many moments over the last several months that I just wanted to curl up and cry and just... I don't know... give up, maybe.  But I would go to church, and every time something would be said that would speak to me and give me encouragement to go another few days.  And in the midst of all this awfulness, I've also had the wonderful distraction of family- my nieces and nephews, so new and so full of wonder that I just love spending time with them and loving them. 

And when I think on it some more, that wave in my dream was indeed an outside force.  It was something in the natural that was going on around me, and it didn't affect me in the least.  Thinking about that... now that's wonderful.  To think that whatever comes my way, I can just close my eyes and rest in His Peace, that gives me such a boost this morning, such a comfort, because I'm tired of these tough trials. 

But the more I keep my eyes on Jesus, the more I think that I'll be able to experience what I experienced in my dream- the great calmness and peace no matter what comes my way.  It's a perk, if you will, of keeping on the straight and narrow.  I think I can handle that, and I'm really, really looking forward to the joy at the end of the trial.  That right there also gives me great encouragement this morning.  And if I look at verse 8 that I posted above, that makes me smile too.  That I would experience God's loving kindness in the daytime, and His Song in the night.  Not a night goes by that I don't find a worship song in my head as I drift off to dreamland.  And I would pray this morning that He would continue speaking to me in the night.  It's been a while since I've really had an intense dream like this- and while it did cause me concern for a bit as I thought on it, it felt good.  Like doing a workout after a few months off.   And may he share that same thing with everyone reading this today.  May you have wonderful God dreams that will speak to you and give you encouragement for the days ahead.

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