Seasons of Change

"My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

² But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

³ O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore." Psalm 131

I finished up my reading in the Psalms yesterday, and this particular chapter stuck out to me. It just spoke of great contentment, particularly verse two. "But I have stilled and quieted my soul." Now doesn't that just sound so peaceful and contended? Let's talk about a weaned child for a minute, because I have to tell you, I initially thought that stilled and contended would mean a nursing child- have you ever seen a child who has just finished nursing? They have such a look of contentedness on their faces. But these verses talk about a weaned child with it's mother. Prior to weaning, a child gets their food and nourishment from their mother's breast. It's also a time of closeness and bonding. So a weaned child is a child who is no longer feeding at their mother's breast, they are no longer receiving their nourishment direct from the source, and yet... yet that child is still content. And I like to think that this verse is talking about a child crawling right up into their mother's lap for a snuggle. That physical nourishment isn't there anymore, but there is something incredibly comforting and peaceful about just being in the presence of their mother.

Even at five years old, my son can be at preschool for just three hours, and by the time those three hours are up, he's ready to be back at home with Mommy. Even if we aren't actively doing something together, he's in perfect peace and contentedness simply being in Mommy's presence.

And now this verse makes perfect sense.

I am content, like a weaned child, to simply be in His presence. For a while there, I think I was in a season of seeking. I wanted and needed more, because our situation at the time was not feeding my soul at all, and I was actively reading books and watching GodTV and really crying out for more because I was so hungry for more. I was in a season of feeding constantly, just as a child does when they are growing. When a child is growing they will eat everything in sight and still want more. But then when they seem to have caught up with their growing bodies (and of course, we notice that their clothes suddenly don't fit), the eating slows, and they are content to just eat their three meals a day and maybe a snack. I am now in that season. I am content with simply being in His presence. I don't need those big bad revelations or the big buffets to fill me up. If God wants to do more, I'm certainly not going to complain, but I am just in a period where I just love being in His Presence.

"I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me." Do you know how easy it is to do the opposite? We could spend our time just dwelling on what we don't know. We could spend every waking moment researching the Bible and other books written, trying to find answers that we just don't know, and that's all great and everything, but what is the point? God is the only one with all the answers, and sometimes, they're just not for us to know. If He wants us to know the answers, He will reveal them in His timing, but if I go to God over and over demanding answers from him, why did we have to go through that trial? Why? Why? Why? I just have to ask myself, what purpose would the answer serve? Because ultimately, aren't trials meant to grow us? And would I be disappointed if I asked God why I had to go through something, and then he turns and says "why, so you could grow, of course." I have to suspect that I would be mightily disappointed with that answer.

"who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:5-7

So instead, I will wait on Him. If He has answers to reveal to me, wonderful. If not, wonderful. I will instead, concern my energies and my focus on Him, and simply being in His wonderful presence. Really, do I need anything more? If I never have another answer to a question ever again, I can put my hope in the Lord and rest in Him and His glorious presence. Oh, I have no doubt that I'm not done learning. I will always be learning more from Him, and as I need to know things, they will come. Life is one big long process of learning how to be a citizen of Heaven, and I have no doubt that I have a long way to go yet.

And think of this too, think of the example I can be for my children by being in this season of contentment. Where previously they may have had the examples of me complaining,of questioning why and questioning my elders and really, kind of being defiant with my attitude maybe. That's not the best example, I know. But instead, now my son walks out to the dining room and sees me reading my Bible, and asks why I'm reading my Bible. My children hear Andy and I discussing all the wonderful things that God is doing for us and is telling us, and they hear about all the good things. They hear us talking good things about other people, not the bad things. And they hear us discussing hopes and dreams for the future with the caveat that we're open to God's Will and whatever He wants for us, not just what we, the physical person wants. That's huge! And we're teaching them to be open to God's Will, simply by being an example. In the days to come, I want to share about how my children have been opened to receiving God's Will, not just for them, but for the entire family. It's been truly amazing to watch God work through their little hearts.

God is amazing, and my children are amazing, and as a parent, it's something truly special to see God at work in them.

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:18-19