Praying With Zander

"I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding." Philippians 1:9

We're having a tough week with Zander. Saturday night he came into our bedroom in the wee hours of the night just sobbing. He'd had a nightmare- obviously, a pretty bad one. So he crawled into bed with us, where I could comfort and cuddle him, and more importantly, pray some good dreams into his little mind. We slept the rest of the night, but every bedtime since, he's practically been in tears because it was bedtime, and he's worried about having that bad dream again. This has given us plenty of opportunity to talk about praying to God when we need something, and talking about God hearing us when we pray, and that God likes it when we talk to him. Still... it's tough to see my little guy be so frightened at night. He is so upset at the prospect of this bad dream that he told me tonight not to pray so that he can hear me- he doesn't want to think about it for even a second. I prayed nonetheless, because this is an opportunity for him to see God at work, because I know that as he sleeps upstairs, there is an angel standing guard over his dreams.

This is new territory for Zander. While we've had many discussions about God and Jesus, and there has been praying here and there, we've been very careful to not make praying a routine in our house. And I know that sounds like a bad thing, but here's the thing. When you teach a child to say the same words over and over again, how long is it before they don't really mean them anymore? I clearly remember growing up that in my family, we all took turns praying at the dinner table. And one by one, night after night, every single prayer from every single child was identical. Finally, one night, my parents said something about this, and said that we should pray because we mean it, not because we're supposed to pray before we eat dinner. And after that, we always gave our prayers a little more thought. So that's how we've been raising our children. There's no rote prayers at mealtime or bedtime. But we pray when it's important, and when something is on our minds. I prayed with Zander not too long ago when a friend of his missed preschool -he was worried about them. With Abigail, she announced this week that while Zander had a bad dream, she doesn't remember dreaming much at all, so I prayed with her that she would have fun and lovely dreams and remember them when she woke.

And of course we pray when someone in the house isn't feeling well, but for the most part, I do more talking with my kids about praying. I tell them that I pray when I do the dishes, and that I pray when I lie down in bed at night, and I pray in the shower. By talking and being casual about praying, I'm showing them that I can pray whenever and wherever I need it. If Abigail is nervous about a test at school, I want her to be able to have the confidence to pray about it right on the spot, and not think that she needs to wait until her routine prayer time at bedtime. Is my way the right way? I could hardly say- every child and every person is so different. I know I've read books on Christian parenting that tell me the opposite- that it's important to set those routine prayer times. For myself, I want my children to be able to pray whenever it strikes their fancy. I want them to want to talk to God all on their own- not kneel down and say a few words simply because it's part of the bedtime routine. That's no different than brushing their teeth!

So this week we're learning a powerful lesson about prayer in our home. Zander is learning that God does answer prayers, as he hasn't had a bad dream since that night. Abigail, I think, is learning that she can be a little more open with Mommy about God, that I won't think her silly for her own thoughts. And Mommy has had more opportunities to get in some prayer time herself. Because although we've prayed about it, I've still had to snuggle my little man into dreamland, so I've spent a great deal of time telling God how wonderful my children are , and thanking him for his protection over them, even as they sleep. And as I've snuggled my son and simply marveled at how precious he is, I also think about how precious he is to God- as precious as Zander is to me, how much more precious he is to God.

"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy," Philippians 1:3-4