A Parent's Example

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. 24Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

Children learn best by example. There is no better statement that describes how a child learns. If Dad refuses to eat his vegetables, kids will refuse their vegetables. If Mom smokes, kids will imitate that smoking. If Grandma cusses up a storm at every person she meets, kids will learn that cussing and taking the Lord's name in vain is okay. Of course, it also works in the positive. If kids see Mom and Dad praying when times are tough, kids learn to turn to God to solve their problems. When Mom and Dad set aside their hobbies to play a game of Candyland, that tells children that they are more important than finishing that scrapbook page or getting that cake frosted just so.

We frequently find ourselves telling our children that we don't need a lot. When they start inundating us with questions for this and that, we explain why they really don't need most of it. But then what does it say to them when we do that and then the very next day we spend the afternoon trolling the mall looking for bargains, or even spend a few hours checking out yard sales- just in case someone has something we want. One of the biggest fights that we have fought in our life is that of materialism. It is so hard to not want all that "stuff" that the world says we need. Don't think for a second that kids don't see that. They see the "do as I say, not as I do" and they remember, they file that away.

That's not how I want to raise my kids. I want my actions to speak for themselves. Instead of rushing out and buying the next great thing, we think about it. We research it and seek it out and see what the best options are, and then determine if we actually need it. This past weekend we were shopping and Andy and I spotted a bed we liked. We really went back and forth on whether or not to pick it up. It was an impulse to find a bed we liked. Ultimately, it came down to the fact that we really didn't need it. Did we want it? Of course, it was exactly what I would like in our bedroom. But we didn't need it, and ultimately, we decided there were better places to put our money for now.

Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive. When my children see me drinking a glass of wine with dinner, they see me being responsible with alcohol, they see that it is okay to have an occasional drink as long as you are responsible about doing so. If my children were to see me slobbering drunk, that would send them the message that drunkenness is okay, that impaired judgement is fun to experience. Drunkenness is not constructive in the least.

I need to remember that there are always little eyes watching me. There are two pairs of eyes who see me waste away an entire afternoon surfing the Internet while ignoring the housework. There are two pairs of ears that hear me fume about the neighbors. More than anything, I want to be an example for my children. I want them to see that it is possible to love everyone with Jesus' love. I want them to feel that love for themselves and make that choice for themselves when the time is right. But first, I need to show them that the choice I have made, the decision to follow Jesus is worthwhile. May God keep me mindful of my choices and my actions, that I may be a great example to the two charges He has placed in my care.