"Hatred stirs up quarrels,
but love makes up for all offenses." Proverbs 10:12 (NLT)
"A man's wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)
"If the temper of the ruler rises up against you, do not leave your place [or show a resisting spirit]; for gentleness and calmness prevent or put a stop to great offenses." Ecclesiastes 10:4 (AMP)
God's been working on me with something, and yesterday was the first time I found it put into action. I am talking today about being offended. Somewhere along the line we seem to have turned into a society that tries to avoid offending at all costs. We worry that if we say the wrong thing we are going to offend someone. We buy 12 flavors of coffee creamer because we don't want to offend the people who must have french vanilla in their coffee- if we didn't have it they'd be offended. Yet despite watching what we say and do, we frequently find ourselves in the position of causing an offense to someone (usually not on purpose) OR we find ourselves the recipient of being offended.
Someone may say something innocuous and it just strikes us the wrong way. Or perhaps our leaders make a change or a decision that really bothers us, and we work it up into such a way that we become offended. Or one that I've seen time and time again is that I'll put a lot of work into something only to have someone else come along and undo that work to fit their ideas better. And you know, for the most part, I think that I don't easily become offended, but when I do... Except that God's been talking to me about this. In the past two weeks I have heard several times that we need to learn to simply not be offended. Offenses will come, no doubt, but those offenses are an opportunity for the enemy to sneak in and stir the trouble-causing pot. Think about it, if someone within my church causes me offense, that right there is an opportunity for the devil to try and creep in and cause division. Large churches have split over trivial offenses. Imagine the strength of the body if we were to learn to do away with such offenses.
And let me tell you, it's a freeing experience. :-) Without going into the details, yesterday I learned of something that really bothered me. And at first, I started stewing about it. I even called my husband to stew to him about it. Then last night as I settled in to see what God had to tell me last night, I kept being distracted by this very thing, and I'd lose my focus and find myself dwelling on this matter. Then it came to me, and I know it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me and telling me to let goof the offense. If I had been being filmed for a movie, a choir of angels would have started singing the moment I realized what was going on. Immediately I turned my thoughts to prayer and I said out loud, "I choose to not take this offense" and I swear to you, instantly a great weight was lifted from my body. That spirit of animosity and offense lifted right off of me. I was able to really focus and hear what God was saying to me after that. Talk about an amazing experience! And then this morning as I was going about my morning tasks, I was reminded of the matter that bothered me in the first place, and I didn't dwell on it in the least. It's as if I was never offended in the first place.
As a Christian, the offenses will come, but we need to recognize those offenses for what they are. They are tools of the devil, a way for him to try and squeeze into our lives and create havoc and animosity. Offenses will come, but it is up to us to choose to not accept them. It is up to us to choose to let the offense go. It is a choice. A choice that I don't think changes based on severity of the offense. If I'm going to let a silly, petty offense go, I also need to let the major heart-breaking offenses go. I have to tell you, this morning I am just feeling so thankful and grateful that I am learning this lesson. Imagine how much more pleasant everyday life will be if I choose to not take any offenses. I am so thankful to God for His messengers that bring me encouragement every day, and I am so thankful for the scripture He has given us to help guide us in the way we need to go. I am learning so much right now, it's almost like I am in school, the amount of information that He has been pouring into me these last several weeks is almost overwhelming. Every day I am reminded of His love for us, and I know that I am not worthy of that love.
Give it a try once. When you feel that offense coming on, rebuke it and send it away. When you feel your spirit being crushed or quenched by someone else's words, ask the Holy Spirit to help you reject that crushing. Once we stop looking for ways to be offended, it's a whole new world out there. Make the choice today, I swear that I don't regret it in the least.
"Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others]" 1 Peter 4:8 (AMP)
"So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses." Matthew 18:35 (AMP)
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