Fear

"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Psalm 56:4

I consider myself a fairly rational person. I have actual fears of tornadoes, driving off a bridge, and heights, but I manage to keep them in check. I still drive over bridges, climb up observation towers, and I am able to monitor a tornado warning calm and collected. So why is it that the fear of people can make my knees buckle? And I'm not even talking about the fear of a scary big man walking past me in the dark. I'm talking about the fear of what someone will say to me. When I'm immersed in a conversation and someone starts telling me about their rough week, or how they're not feeling well, I just want to stop talking and ask them if I can pray for them. But I don't. Because I'm a big fat chicken.

One of the things that I've been praying for is boldness. I just don't have it. I can be ostentatious, and I can walk into a room and command attention if I truly want to, but to open my mouth and say something outlandish like "can I pray for you?" just makes my palms start to sweat and my tongue start to swell and feel like sawdust. Maybe part of it is because I've never before been "that person", I've never been someone that people turn to in times of crisis. But I could be. I know that potential is there. I know for a fact that there is power in prayer, and that the words that leave my mouth have some weight behind them. But that doesn't help get over that initial fear. I mean, what if that person doesn't want to be prayed for? What if I start praying and I say something totally wrong?

Clearly this is a work in progress. But I'm praying about it. I'm praying for courage and boldness, and for the right words. Because having the courage to speak to someone does me no good if I don't have the right words to say to them. May the Holy Spirit guide me when I need to pray for someone and show me what to do so that I don't scare them away. And most importantly, may the words I speak be effective and laced with God's Love.