Often times, when I am in a conversation with another woman, the talk turns to complaining about the husband. Or not necessarily complaining, but sharing something that said hubby did that wasn't so smart. That kind of thing. A while back I decided that wasn't going to be me anymore. I decided that I was going to watch what I said to others about my husband. I decided that my mouth would no longer bring dishonor to my husband. Because God placed my husband at the head of my household, and by not honoring him with my words, I was actually dishonoring God.
"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12 (KJV)
Who knows who my words could affect. What I do know, is that what I say can affect my children. The last thing I want them to hear is Mommy complaining about Daddy. That tells them it's okay. And it's not okay. Part of marriage is discovering intimacy, and it's that intimacy that allows me to tell Andy directly when he's doing something to annoy or anger me. By complaining to outside sources I was not allowing that intimacy to flourish. In effect, I was putting up a wall by voicing my complaints other than where they should go.
"Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage." Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)
My words can honor or dishonor my husband. When I speak to others, I want them to know what a wonderful husband he is! I want every man to know how great of a husband Andy is, and know that he is someone worth modeling after. I want my son to watch Andy as a husband and have a perfect example of what a husband should be. And I want my daughter to strive to find the very best man for her future husband- and what better example than her father. I also want them to see me lifting up my husband in kind and positive words to others. I want them to see that when I have a complaint about my husband I take it to him, not to the neighbors or our friends.
"So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33 (NLT)
Respect for my husband has been a wonderful gift from God. It has brought us closer together in our marriage. We each know what the other person wants without even giving voice to the want. I now find myself eager to share with others all the good things that Andy does for me and for the kids. Instead of sharing the bad with other people, I want to share the good. And I think by me honoring my husband appropriately, others will respect him even more than they do already.
2 comments:
Recently, my mom has been watching herself in the same way. She would be talking to me (we're very good FRIENDS now!) and tell me about something he did and complain. Then she would apologize because she doesn't want to be complaining about him. I understand this and think it is what God wants for us...to honor our husbands...it is a lesson to us to honor God as well, as He is our eternal husband (that makes me excited!).
On a "practical" note. Sometimes the complaining, especially when your children and particularly Abigail, can be turned into lessons. I know that I've learned from Mama and things that she has said annoy her about some habits Daddy has and have seen things that I want to "train" my husband to do EARLY...like put his dishes in the dishwasher after a meal!
;-)
Lol! Yes, it certainly can be opportunity for "future training."
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