Ephesians 5:33

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

The wife must respect her husband. How do I do that? I respect him by keeping my home in a manner that is respectful of him. While he is at work, I could easily spend my days just taking care of the kids and doing the most basic of housework- the bare minimum necessary. And in fact, that's how it used to be for me. I would let the housework slide all the time, and spend my free time with a book or in front of the TV or a computer. Then there would be one day where he'd be home from work and we'd tackle all the housework at once together. And once we started hosting small group weekly, that became every Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The housework would slide all week long, and then his days off he would have to spend cleaning the house. Why? Because I wanted to be lazy. I wanted to take care of my children and spend my free time relaxing. That's not very respectful of my husband. Sure, I would have dinner on the table when he got home, but there would be a kitchen full of dirty dishes, and most often we would eat in front of the TV because the table was covered with stuff. And what an awful day when someone unexpected would drop in. How embarrassing for my husband to not be able to invite someone in. He would go outside and talk on the front stoop with someone instead of inviting them in.

Somewhere along the way, God started talking to me. He started filling my heart with the desire to respect my husband more. And to me, that respect begins with the housework. It may sound silly, but it is very true. I started with laundry. That was my biggest problem area. I would let it pile up all week, and then Andy would do it all in one fell swoop- because he wanted to be helpful to me. And while I appreciated the help, he shouldn't have to. So I began doing one load of laundry every day. That's about what my family goes through is one load. On the days there are towels or bedding, it's two loads. But it takes two seconds of my morning to put a load of laundry in, that it's become quite the habit for me. I no longer have "laundry day" because I keep it up. In fact, I'm looking forward to warmer weather so that I can hang the laundry outside every morning.

My second chore to tackle was the dishes. Being one who enjoys cooking, and doesn't have a dishwasher, the dishes are the bane of my existence. We would leave the dinner dishes every night until the next morning, when I would do the dishes after getting Abigail to school. I hated coming down the stairs and being greeted by a mountain of dishes, but it was working for us at the time. That's changed too. I now wash dishes at least twice a day. When I am going to spend time cooking in the day, I start by running a sink full of water and washing any dishes that are lurking about. Then the sink is ready to wash dishes as I dirty them, so by them time dinner is ready to eat, there are no dirty dishes. Before we eat, I run another sink of water so that as soon as we're done eating, the dishes go in the sink and are washed in no time. It is such a great feeling when dish doing takes just a few minutes because there aren't very many.

And the rest of the house has taken off from those two simple tasks. I now love the look of my kitchen counter empty. Except that doesn't look as good when the dining room is cluttered and messy, so once the counter is cleared of dirty dishes and crumbs, I take another five minutes to put away the clutter in the dining room and spread a fresh tablecloth on the table. Instantly company ready. And then since I quickly run the vacuum in the dining room, which is connected to the living room, I may as well quickly pick up the living room and vacuum that. Then the clean living room doesn't look as good with that film of dust on everything, so I run a dust cloth and pick up the grime. At that point, my house is ready for company to walk in and be comfortable, and it's only taken me about 30 minutes tops to get to that point. But what if they want to use the bathroom? So I swish the toilet and de-clutter the sink and put out fresh towels- another five minutes. Then I pick up the steps and I think about company dropping in, and if they have children, the kids will undoubtedly play upstairs, so I make sure the kids rooms are acceptable for kids to be playing in. Altogether, cleaning my house from top to bottom takes less than one hour. And we have a bigger house than we used to. By doing this every day (or at the bare minimum every other day) I am being respectful of my husband. Making it so that he doesn't have to worry about a clean house.

And the benefit for me? Well, not only do I have a heart full of gladness and joy because I'm doing what God wants me to do, I also get to enjoy my free time more. If I know the house is clean, I can sit and read a book with a clean conscience. I can enjoy my time to relax, without knowing that there is something else I should be doing. And when my husband comes home from a hard day's work, he can relax and enjoy his time with the kids without having to worry about tossing a load of laundry in the washer. He can invite someone in for a chat or offer our house as a base for meetings and such because it is kept in a state that is respectful to him. I am sooo thankful to God for placing the desire on my heart to better my housekeeping skills. It makes for a happier household all around, and I pray that I am able to continue to be mindful of my time at home- that I may use it to the best of my abilities every day.