"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. 28 Therefore I also have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the LORD." 1 Samuel 1:27-28
The last couple of weeks have been rough weeks for me. Health-wise it was terrible (I'm feeling MUCH better now, thank you!), and there were also moments where I just felt low. Almost every time I would feel that low, blue feeling, God would do a little something to bring me out of the blue- and almost every single time, it would be something either one or both of my kids would do. Or, I would get a text message with a photo of my newest nephew- things that couldn't help but make me smile and feel joy about. My kids just have a knack for that. When things are a little rough, they come up with the silliest games or jokes or questions that just fills my heart with delight and wonder at these two incredible people.
And they are incredible people. Every day it seems I get glimpses of their unique personalities, and every day I find myself so incredibly thankful and grateful that I get to be the one to spend time with them. When I think of all the moments I could have missed had they been in a building school instead of at home with me, my mind just starts spinning, and I feel bad for all those parents who drop off their kids in the morning. Because my children are such joy, and I am just so thankful this morning that they are in my life. Everything else in life could be in the worst place possible, but with those two balls of sunshine to greet me every morning when I wake, it seems like nothing could really be that bad.
And yet, just over a week ago, I was very saddened to learn that an online acquaintance of mine lost her only child in a horrible car accident. It was just heartbreaking- obviously for these parents, but also for our online community which is very close, and we all felt like we lost one of our own. Except that I can't possibly know what it feels like to lose a child in that way. I've spent a lot of time over the last week reflecting on that, and of course, some of that is wondering why such things have to happen- why did this young man have to die, just as he was finishing up high school and looking at college beyond. His life was just about to get going, and now he's with Jesus. A much better destination than college, to be sure, but it still doesn't make sense to the human mind. That family has been in my prayers for the last week, and will continue to be so for some time, as they learn a new way of life without their precious boy.
But you know what I can do? I can love and appreciate my children every single day. Every day I can take advantage of the opportunity of spending time with them to tell them how much I love them, and how much God loves them. Every day I can thank God for another chance to learn with my kids and spend time with them. So that's what I'm doing today. I don't think I do that near enough. As a mom, there are just some days where you want to be alone- for just five minutes, or you just want quiet- for just five minutes. Or there are days where you wonder why on earth you had children! But you know, if you start out every day, looking into the eyes of your child, telling them you love them, and then thanking God for this precious life, the day just can't help but get better from there. Joy, great joy comes from the Lord, and many times, I just know that He chooses to put that joy in our hearts via the children he's blessed us with.